For your protection ...

I recently experienced the slickest new e-mail scam. I received an e-mail from "the FBI" ® warning me that a "Nigerian" ® scam may already have my bank account number. All I had to do was fill in my bank account information, and send it back to the FBI ®, so they can protect me from the evil Nigerian ® scammers.

$100 Million Dollar Man ®

After Toronto's Mayor Miller ® "found" an extra $100 million, mayoral hopeful George Smitherman ® was the first to the microphone to decry the outrage that the mayor was "perpetuating" against the people of Toronto.

He meant "perpetrating," & immediately lost a large part of the "IQ over 100" ® voting block.

Medic?

My doctor said, "You seem kind of depressed. You should go to a good Italian restaurant and order pasta with a robust sauce made with tomatoes, onions, and herbs."

I asked, "Are you prescribing medical marinara?"